The Wildest Stories from Kingdom Come 2: Delivering Mayhem and Laughter

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 isn't just another medieval RPG; it's a masterclass in unpredictable absurdity, weaving brutal realism with hilarious, unforgettable side quests. The following tales, spoiler-free for the main story, highlight the game's uniquely charming chaos.

Table of Contents

• Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
• Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
• Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
• Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
• Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
• Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song

Nestled in the charming town of Želejov, you'll find two incredibly lazy troubadours dreaming of Bohemian musical domination. Their aspirations, however, are severely hampered by a lack of funds, instruments, and any discernible musical talent. Enter Henry, ready to help these aspiring geniuses.

Henry's quest involves a series of increasingly absurd errands: stealing a lute (risking arrest!), procuring sheep gut strings, and even settling their tavern debt. After all this effort, their "reward"? A soul-crushingly boring song celebrating Henry's less-than-glamorous achievements (stealing, sheep butchering, and bag carrying). The locals cringe, Henry facepalms, and you'll likely burst out laughing.

Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern

Remember those lute strings? They require the craftsmanship of Vojtěch, a hunter with a serious drinking problem. He's currently stuck in a tree, having encountered a wolf pack. The "standard" rescue involves carrying him back to camp, saving his horse, and helping him sober up. But what if you bypass all that and deliver him directly to the nearest tavern?

That's exactly what I did, resulting in a hilarious trek through the wilderness with a grumpy, injured Vojtěch. His reaction upon arrival? Pure, unadulterated displeasure. He refused further assistance and limped off, muttering insults. Our next meeting? He offered me a scenic view behind his shack as compensation. Priceless.

Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog

The Polovtsians are the villains responsible for Henry's family's tragic fate. Finding them causing trouble in a tavern, I anticipated a brutal confrontation. Instead, I found myself socializing, matchmaking, and even singing bizarre songs with them. Then, a talking dog interrupted, launching into a philosophical lecture about life's purpose. Inspired (or perhaps intoxicated), I accepted his challenge to swim across a lake, leading to a hilariously chaotic quest.

Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price

After mastering stealth, a single botched heist transformed me into Bohemia's most wanted. A simple oversight—failing to remove flashy accessories and wash off incriminating smells—led to my arrest. The game's attention to detail is astonishing; it wasn't the theft itself, but the overlooked evidence that gave me away.

Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies

I stole a horse, intending to sell it to Mikolaj, a gypsy horse trader. But Mikolaj was asleep, and the horse bolted before I could secure it. My attempt to sell the horse the next morning involved waiting for Mikolaj to finish a leisurely breakfast, a testament to the game's immersive detail. Even minor escapades become hilariously drawn-out misadventures.

Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

These are just glimpses into what makes Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 truly special. Every decision, no matter how small, has unpredictable consequences. From rescuing drunkards to philosophizing with dogs, the game's commitment to realism and immersion makes every playthrough a unique and unforgettable adventure. Bohemia awaits!